You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
