one might say we're banned from that church
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
