Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
