He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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