I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
