I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
