i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
