Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
