Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
