went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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