Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
