i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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