We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
