It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
