omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
