I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
