oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
