So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
