sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
