I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
