Pants 0. Shit 1.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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