im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
