okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
