i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
