Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
