You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
