Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
