yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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