The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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