So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
