Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
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