You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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