It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
