Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
