i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
