Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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