Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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