I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
