i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
