Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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