hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
