why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
