i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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