Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
