Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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