It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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