Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
