We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
