I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
