i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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