I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
